Carlos.........10 years old at the time, Servant-Hearted, Compassionate, Curious... I don't know if I have ever met a kid like this. Always looking out for others. I met him last June. He would come to our Fun Friday activities at his apartment complex. He stood out to me. Always volunteering to help, craving adult interaction, carrying supplies, meeting me at my car to unload, serving hot dogs, just an all around great kid.
He was the first kid I ever gave my cell phone number to. He is who educated me that people don't have food the first of the month because it takes everything they had to pay their rent. He is the kid who called me when he knew of people who didn't have food, and would ask me to bring some. He would be the one knocking on doors to deliver the food.
One Sunday in September I got a call from him. He called to ask for numbers of shelters in the area. You see, his mom, who worked two jobs, was injured, and hadn't been able to work in over a month. In one month, when you live paycheck to paycheck, things can change in the blink of an eye. They had been moving around a bit in the last month, living with friends, but due to some frightening circumstances, they were now on their own.
We were able to help them by getting them shelter, and eventually back into an apartment. Mom went back to work, against the doctor's orders, because she knew what she had to do.
Today, this family is doing great! Carlos and his brother and sister have a one bedroom apartment. Mom is working as hard as ever to provide for the kids. Carlos even volunteers at Center of Grace serving others, every week. They have come to pack backsnacks, sort clothes, and are always willing to pitch in.
Why did we help them? Because we had a relationship....Because a 10 year old kid had my cell number and could ask for help.
Let's be honest, there are other factors, too. Mom had a car to get her to and from work. Mom had a job with an employer who valued her work, and held her position. Mom had kids who didn't require much childcare, which can be costly, especially when you make minimum wage. The likelihood of them eventually helping themselves was greater than the mom who doesn't have a car and would have to look for a job she can walk to, the mom who has children requiring childcare, which is expensive, and won't be able to make ends meet every month.
This is where we get caught up in the fact that helping can hurt. We can find that by paying that electric bill we are perpetuating the situation. It is frustrating, especially when you have started to establish a relationship. Especially when you see their children once a week at homework huddle, and they are telling you stories of no birthday cake, no present, and they are wearing the same clothes they have worn for weeks.
But when do we help? When we know someone who had medical bills and their husband isn't able to work because of an injury? When we know that it will only take $500 for them to get rent caught up because mom went back to work in a factory since dad can't work? Will the situation keep perpetuating, even though it seems that this one time $500 will get them caught up?
I don't know..... I have been burnt. I've trusted in a relationship, helped till it hurt, and been disappointed in the cycle of poverty one of my friends was in. I have to constantly put my trust in God and the friendship/relationship we are forming with the under resourced. I've learned to look for the signs of success.....If they have X,Y, and Z, they might recover from this set back. If they don't, then I can offer friendship, support, and prayer.
1 John 3:16-18
16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.These are things I ponder on a daily basis. Greg lost his job years ago. He had severance, but he was out of work for 5 months! We had two little kids, and the stress and anxiety of it all, was hard on our marriage and our faith. We didn't lose our house, we were made more conscious of our needs vs wants, and in the end our faith became stronger and our relationship with GOD, more real. But we had friends who were constantly offering to help, family who did help.
While things worked out great with my little friend Carlos, and 9 months later, things are still going strong, that is not always the case. But, if we don't stop, like the Good Samaritan, and we don't lay down our lives (spend time in relationship) for our brothers and sisters, then how can we say we love God? Giving to the poor is not JUST material possessions.....it is of your time and talent, too.
It's messy. It's vulnerable. Isaiah 58:10 says, " If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness and your night will become like noonday". Spending Yourself? I think that involves a lot more than a handout, it involves yourself.
Amy
